


Maximum Overdraft

by enkidurga



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: PNC bank, Skype usage in 2020, this is a joke, tip your delivery drivers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26126713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enkidurga/pseuds/enkidurga
Summary: Emu uses the ATM.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 8





	Maximum Overdraft

**Author's Note:**

> My boyfriend texted my at 11:30 this morning and said "New fic idea: Maximum Mighty X uses the ATM" and then didn't give me a fic to actually read.

It was a day at CR when the CR crew got a Skype call from Gemn Corp.

"I'll get it!" says Poppy cheerfully answering it. "Hello yes this is Poppy."

Dan Kuroto's dad, Dad Kuroto, pops up onto the screen with a sinister look on his face because he is evil and evil people look like that when they Skype call you in the middle of the day.

"Hi Poppy. Maximum Mighty X, you will be discontinued." Dad Kuroto says evily. "Meet me in the PNC bank parking lot in 10 minutes or I will destroy this bike I stole from you."

The camera pans over to Kiriya as Dad Kuroto shifts the laptop over.

"Hi Emu" Kiriya waves. Poppy waves back. 

"When did we get a Skype account?" Emu asks, but is ignored as the camera shifts back to Dad Kuroto. When it settles on him, it becomes apparent he is outside now. A car honks loudly in the background.

"You have 10 minutes until your destruction." Dad Kuroto says before hanging up evily.

"No... seriously... how did he do that we don't have Skype on this...." Emu presses, but Poppy shrugs. Dan Kuroto whistles a tune absolutely unsuspiciously from the arcade cabinet.

***************

"I'm here!" Emu says before tripping on a pebble in the bank parking lot and falling on his face. "Ow I'm okay I'm good."

"Hah!" Dad Kuroto laughs, "I'd pay to see that again. In fact, what the fuck I'm not paying I'll just..."

Inserting the Kamen Rider Chronicle gashat into his crotch Gameboy, Dad Kuroto becomes Cronus. 

**PAUSE.**

Tapping some buttons on the system, time pauses and rewinds to just before Emu's fall. 

**RESTART.**

Emu falls on his face again.

"Ow I'm okay I'm good. Wait..." Emu blinks, "No I'm not good oh god I'm bleeding uh anyways...." 

Pulling his thicc af gashat and also the Gamer Driver from idk his void ass pocket (seriously where are they keeping these things please enlighten me in the comments), Emu MAXIMUM DAI HENSHINS into Maximum Mighty X. He is very large and looks like Level 2 Mighty Action X Ex-Aid, but large.

"I AM LARGE." says Ex-Aid bigly.

Leaping into the air, he spreads his arms and legs out to make an X.

"POWER OF X. I WILL DEFEAT YOU." Ex-Aid says in a large manner as a deflated trumpet cover of EXCITE begins to play. 

As he begins to descend onto Cronus to lay the smackdown, Cronus reaches to tap on his crotch Gameboy. It is at this very moment that Ex-Aid remembers something VERY important.

"WAIT!" Ex-Aid calls out. Cronus pauses and looks up.

"What?" He asks.

"I forgot I had to use the ATM first." Ex-Aid says, fishing for his wallet. His massive fingers pinch hold of the small leathery pouch and from there he somehow manages to pull out his debit card which bears the image of WWE Hall of Famer Chyna. "Do you mind? I ordered delivery and I just wanna make sure I have some money to tip."

"Oh, no no. Go ahead." Cronus says, stepping back and pulling out his phone to check Facebook while he waits.

Ex-Aid stomps massively over to the ATM and inserts his card into the slot, nudging it in with one finger. As it reads, the screen prompts for him to enter in his pin. 

"Okay uh..." Ex-Aid begins to press onto the keypad, but his finger is too big and he winds up pressing four different buttons at once instead of the one he intended. "Shit... uh..."

Smacking the button to backspace in a slight panic, the strength of the suit shoves the key in too far, rendering the machine to permanently backspace. Ex-Aid feels himself begin to sweat heavily beneath the suit and the suit he's wearing over the suit. 

"Maybe if I just..." he begins to rapidly press Maximum Mighty X's sausage-like fingers into the keypad to try and get his pin code in quickly. This backfires immensely as the force caves the entire pinpad in and it begins to spark violently.

Cronus looks up from his phone.

"You good?"

"Uhh..." Ex-Aid shifts to obscure any view Cronus would have had of the ATM. "Yeah it's just loading." Smoke is emitting from the machine.

"Okay well, like, come on. I got a tight schedule. I'm supposed to be telling Hiiro to kill you in an hour and I can't be late." Cronus sighs before turning the volume on to watch a cat video.

Ex-Aid nods and looks back at the machine. Maybe he can use the touch screen. 

Tapping a finger lightly against the screen, nothing happens. Mainly because he's wearing a bunch of foam on his hands. I mean- no ignore that this mech suit totally was never in its life for any reason made out of foam. Getting more desperate by the minute, Ex-Aid's taps become rougher and more demanding until the screen just fully gives out and shatters.

He feels like he's ready to pass away and in a moment of pure panic, smashes the machine fully so he could fish out his card and turn to Cronus.

"I.... I think I'm gonna go inside and do this..." Ex-Aid says nervously before hurrying to the bank entrance and smashing Maximum Mighty X's form through the door.

Cronus checks his watch and goes back to watching a Tasty video he found. The ATM explodes.


End file.
